When we arrived at our location in North Newark and began getting things set up, I saw a man named Kevin that I had spoken the a couple weeks ago. He was wearing a hat labeled, “Super Dad”. I asked if this was true and his welcoming look turned into one of defeat and failure.
As I followed up my question, I asked why he didn’t think he was so “super” and he began to speak of all the things he has done wrong as a father - from financial management to time spent - thus not qualifying himself as a “Super Dad”.
I pulled up a chair and we began to speak.
Since becoming a father myself, I have have had many opportunities to connect with other fathers I meet on the streets. This defeated and overall look of failure has become a norm in many of these conversations. In trying to turn these thoughts and feelings of my friends around, I have begun asking a simple, but very empowering question.
“As an experienced father, what’s the greatest advice you can give me as a new one?”
Simple, but it puts the men I am speaking to in a helper/leader role. Men love to fix things and help solve problems. By me asking this question, it empowers them to be in the teacher role in our conversation.
The answers I have received over the past few months have been great.
“Let your daughter know you are always going to be there for her, no matter what she does”
“Listen to her”
“Make time for her”
“Know that she sees everything and will do what she sees you do”
Tonight, Kevin started by sharing things similar to what the other dads had said before, but then he added in some tangible goals, things he admitted that he wasn’t very good at, but that I should do if I were to be a “Super Dad”. The specific one he brought up again for the second time in our conversation was on the subject of finances.
I questioned where he was at with finances and what his plan was to make it better.
He said he was basically making it up as he went.
I began to share how my wife and I read Dave Ramsey’s book, Financial Peace, and how it lead to us paying off our debt and remaining debt free for the past 5 years. I asked him if he liked to read and if he had any interest in reading a book like that and discussing what he read.
He said yes to both of those questions.
I ordered the book for Kevin and it is scheduled to arrive on Monday.
We are going to discuss it either over the phone since I gave him my cell # or on my next trip North Newark. He’s excited and so am I!
I told him that this is the first step for him towards becoming the statement that he was wearing and he agreed.
Please pray that Kevin will feel empowered as a father to his two daughters, aged 5 and aged 17.
Also please pray that I will continue feel the confidence to challenge my friends to achieve everything that God have called them to be - even Super Dads!