The past few weeks have been filled with every side of emotion I can think of. I went back and forth over whether I was going to write about this or not - but decided to, for the fact that you people love and pray for us. We need it so badly right now. I also pray continually, that through my vulnerability and openness, that others would find hope and know that they are not alone.
On easter morning, while away in Vermont for my wife’s mini bday trip, we found out that she is pregnant!
Amazing! We are on high! Something we have been dreaming and praying about for awhile!
For anyone that has known us or read along for awhile, you know that the simple act of becoming pregnant isn’t so simple for us. It takes the miracle that is a fertility clinic for us to even have a chance at expanding our family.
Click here to read more about that:https://www.facebook.com/Brettahartford/posts/10153072527884403
Because of the use of a fertility clinic, my wife has more checkups, sooner, and with more repetitions than if someone were to get pregnant naturally. This caused us to have our first ultrasound and blood test at week 6, versus a normal week 8.
This past Friday we went in with such joy and excitement. We have started talking to Selah about how she will help us take care of the baby and how we can rearrange her room to fit another kid.
Planning, dreaming, and just thanking God that He provided another time.
As the doctor starts the ultrasound, I start to feel uneasy. She is moving picture around for a bit and not saying anything. She lets out a “hmmm”. I can tell she trying trying to stall by moving onto measuring different things. She can’t find what is suppose to be there. She thinks she sees something, but it’s not what she was expecting to see. She says she doesn’t really have any answers, but to wait to hear from our nurse after the blood results come back in a couple hours.
The call comes and we find out that the numbers haven’t risen the way they are supposed to.
“This pregnancy is most likely a loss”
“Come back in two days and we will determine what the next steps are.”
Sunken. What just happened? Disappointment - to say the least. I look at Renee and it looks like she wants to cry. I want to cry. I do. So very disappointed.
This morning we went back expecting to get our next steps, but we ended up leaving with nothing but more questions and an inkling of hope.
Both the ultrasound and blood work showed growth.
Where there was nothing, now there was something. What hadn’t risen, now had risen a bit.
Both were not to the place they would expect it to be, but it was enough for the doctor to have no answers. “There is a 99% chance that this pregnancy will end in a miscarriage”.
So, 1%. That’s where we are at.
1% chance for our baby to live and be healthy.
Honestly, I have seen God do a lot more with a lot less. I have literally seen miracles happen right in front of my face. While in college, a man that was wheelchair bound stood up when I was praying for him. Yesterday a man that had been homeless for the better part of 25 years walked up to say that because we prayed for him last week, he now has an apartment. I had no car and no way to buy a car and a stranger handed me the keys to a $7000 truck. I see heroin and alcohol addicts walking around with freedom and clarity on the regular.
All the time I get to see different forms of a miracles.
Who’s to say that anything is impossible for God?
I have hope. Hope in Jesus. Hope in life and not death.
Will you please join us in prayer? Prayer for life. Prayer for peace.
Prayer for a miracle.
Thank you friends. Please feel free to share this.
We are taking all the help we can get.
We love you all,
Brett and Renee Hartford