It's funny how life goes. And by funny, I mean frustrating at times and crazy rewarding at others.
Ever since I moved to New Jersey, 7 years ago, I have been trying find my thing. I have jumped around A LOT! Sometimes by choice, mostly not. From trying to start a franchise - and failing. To working at Banana Republic to survive and provide for my family.Then joining the National Guard to play music. Then onto working at a church - and it not being the right fit, then being jobless, then working at Trader Joe's - then finally landing here at New York City Relief.
Every time something didn't work out I was so stressed and frustrated, and angry at what was wrong - with me and with others. Why couldn't I succeed, why am I such a failure, why don't I get to choose where I go and when I go?
But now, with perspective and wisdom gathered from each of those steps, I have learned to trust more when trouble comes and things don't go my way. I can now clearly see that I had super valuable lessons to learn from each of the places I was at previously.
1. Without trying to start the franchise, I wouldn't have come here to NJ at all, thus would't be where I am now.
2. I had a place to be and a bridge to provide for my family while working at Banana Rep.
3. I'm still in the National Guard, it has provided me with extra confidence and a financial blessing when I've needed it the most. Plus, I get to play music for people, something I love too!
4. And this one was definitely the hardest for me grasp - especially at the time - not being the right fit at the church I was working for.
Without working at this church I would have never heard about The Relief Bus. I also would have never come to work there because it was way out of my comfort zone financially (raising salary through support raising - vs. - receiving a monthly salary) Because of this fact, I could not will myself to leave on my own, I needed to be let go - for which I am so thankful for now.
Through all of this, I am now where God want me right now. Is it where I will be in 10 years? I don't know. I spent the previous 6 years before working here concerned with what was happening next or where I was going to be. Now all I am concerned with is being who God has called me to today. Tomorrow has enough worries of it's own.
Thank you to everyone who has made it possible for me to learn all of this and get to this point, those of you who I have had the privilege to work or serve alongside of at previous jobs or organizations, and others who have challenged me or fired me at times when I wasn't the right fit or I was done learning what I needed to learn at that place. Without you I wouldn't be who I am now and wouldn't have the wisdom and patience to do what I do.
Again, thank you all for letting me live life out loud.
Thank you for shaping me continually, my hope is that through my openness and vulnerability, it will in turn cause shaping in others.
Much love for you all!