Slim.

Tonight I found out that the guy that I wrote about in this post died last month from using K2 (synthetic marijuana). It's a cruddy thing. Reminds me to make the the most of every conversation I get to have. It could that person's last chance to hear truth and life/love. Just sad. 

Conversation with a homeless friend at Newark Penn Station tonight:
(This conversation was had while he was getting his self-described,"disgusting", feet cleaned and mended by one of our awesome volunteer nurses, Vera Yarmoliouk)

Brett: You know, I love you, Slim.
Slim: What?
B: For real, I love you man. 
S: Good. I need someone to love me. 
B: Well, I do. And if you ever need anything, ever, please let me know. Just as your feet are never too "disgusting" for our nurses to mend and clean, you could never bee too "disgusting" for us, or God stop loving you, and I just wanted you to know that. 
S: [A deep, heart felt] Thank you.

Now that I've been going to EWR Penn Station nearly every Friday night for the past year, I have been praying that I will have confidence to speak complete love with truth to my friends there. I don't know the last time someone told Slim that they loved him, maybe never. His "I need someone to love me" almost made me break down in tears right there.

We all need love. We crave it.

For me, God has called (and equipped) me to love on people that are completely broken and unloved. I have the ability to hear their cries for help, both verbal and non-verbal, and show love to them while they are in their despair. I love that I have the opportunity day in and day out to do this at The Relief Bus.

What is it for you? Who, or how has Jesus told you to love? My hopes in posting my life here for all to see is that it will be an encouragement for you to find out the answers to these questions.

Like I said, I am equipped to go out and love the broken-hearted... this may or may not be what you are suppose to do. We are all created uniquely, and with certain skills. Some with the ability to encourage or pray for others, some to go out and do the loving, while still others have the ability to fund those of us that are the doers. 
Each have the same amount of importance, and one doesn't work without the others. It's pretty cool how they all work together for the good of others. smile emoticon

Just figure out which part you are supposed to do - and do it with all that is within you!

Much love.

Street Love.

Street Love - applying the 5 love languages to serving the poor and homeless (and ultimately everyone!)

Do those that come to The Relief Bus need the food and drinks we hand out? Yes. Is it handy for them to receive socks and hygiene kits? Absolutely. Do the individuals that we encounter during our Don’t Walk By outreach on Thursday nights need us to stop and talk with them, while hearing their stories and sharing a meal on the Sidewalk? For sure!

Yet, while loving parts of people in obviously tangible ways, we could be missing the entire goal that we are shooting for - and the root of it all - loving each person we encounter how they feel love.

In Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, he writes about how there are 5 ways through which each of us feel love.

Words of Affirmation

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

Physical Touch

Personally, this way of thinking is constantly running through my mind in how I love my wife well. As much as I want to love her in the ways that I am best at expressing love, that doesn’t get me very far in loving her how she feels love.

For me, Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation are how I feel loved. So, if you pat me on the back and tell me I did a great job at something, then I am going completely smitten. 
On the other hand, if someone were to give me a rolex, sure I’d think that it was really cool, but it’s not going to change my life in the way that a touch or word does.

For Renee, she craves Quality Time and Acts of Service. So, if I spend intentional time sitting down with her (void of other distractions) and clean the kitchen each night, then she is full of love. If she has love, then she can give love.

In the same way, as much as a cup of soup is helpful (and definitely needed) to our friends on the street, if the way they feel love is through Physical Touch, then ultimately we are doing a disservice to them if we don’t love them in the way that they feel love. So, in this case I would look to give someone a high-five or a hug.

Our goal should be to remember this and look for it in every interaction. Sometimes it takes a while of trying one thing or another until you find that person’s love language, but when you do it can literally change everything!

When someone feels love, it opens them up to give love! 
You can’t give what you don’t have!

So, how can we do this? 
Intentionality. 
As easy as it is for me to think that if I just go around hugging everyone, that it will enough. It simply won’t. I have to get outside of myself and love people at their level - how they feel love. 
If I try hugging someone and they seem rigid and reclusive, then I am going to generally assume that Physical Touch isn’t on the top of their list. But, if I go above and beyond to serve them by cleaning their table and taking care of their trash when they are done, and they reply with much thanks and a smile, then Acts of Service is probably higher up the list.

Ultimately, it is our (mine and your) responsibility to find and help others find our specific love language. Once we know it in ourselves and in others, it is much easier to know and establish expectations. This isn’t privy to just what I do on the streets and for those who are in a relationship. Everyone needs love. Co-workers, friends, extended family, even the lady at the grocery store. How can we meet people where they are and love them well?

Unsure of your love language? Take the free quiz! 
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

Now, let’s get out there and love well! Share this with anyone you think might enjoy!

Much love friends!