Are you willing?

Us praying with Shawn.

Us praying with Shawn.

“Can I have your leftovers, anything you’re going to throw away?”

“Excuse me?”

Again he clarifies. He is sunken down as far as the hard plastic chair will allow.
He wants my leftovers… from McDonalds. (I don’t even want my firsts… and all I got was fries)

On Thursday nights we have our outreach called, Don’t Walk By. Of everything we do, it’s has be my favorite, because it takes away all the extra stuff - bus, soup, volunteer rotations, ect. And we are left with the pure and raw relationships. Not that the other stuff is bad, because it’s not, it’s beautiful in it’s own setting, but it’s just a refreshing break to the week to have this 1 outreach out of 12 be completely different. For me, a relationship and conversation driven person, it’s amazing.

It’s amazing to see what happens when you make yourself available to whatever happens.


No expectations, no agenda, just a “hello” and the available time to see where that “hello” leads.

Tonight I went down 6th ave towards a weekly meetup spot at a McDonalds to connect with some of our long-time friends. It was in that community that there just happened to be a guy sitting a few feet away, a guy all alone who had been praying for community, a guy named Shawn.

We were connecting with our friends, we had purchased dinner for everyone and ourselves as well - community not charity. We were learning about James an amazing artist and he was showing us his old and new art (really amazing, self-taught kid from NJ, now on the streets for years because he trusted and got burned over and over, he started out “vulnerable” and that got beaten out of him, now he just does him and doesn’t trust often - except for us - especially one of my co-workers, Dan, who started the relationship and is week after week building the relationship through consistent community and care.)

We were listening, sharing, caring, serving, learning, and just be-ing. Community. No expectations, just friends catching up and growing together. All the while, there is this man a few table away, reading a magazine. I saw him, but decided to watch for a few minutes.

“Can I have your leftovers, anything you’re going to throw away?”

This really took me by surprise.

What must it take to ask someone that? What does it feel like to be at a point where you hungry enough to eat people’s leftovers from McDonald's?
I’ve never in my life been in that situation.

I’m a foodie. I don’t eat fast food. We manage our budget in a way that we we only eat out a couple of times a month, but they are at good restaurants. But now, at this moment, I am sitting at the epitome of “fast food”, being asked for my contaminated, used, cold, leftovers.

“You don’t have to eat my leftovers. What can I get you?”
“Anything”
“Burger?”
“Yes please.”
“Fries?”
“Yes, anything you are willing to get I will eat.”

This reminds me of a story from the Bible where man of zero worth finds worth in Jesus’ willingness to love and act.

1When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. 2A man with leprosya came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” 3Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean! (healed)” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy. Matthew 8:1-3

Both cases, a man with nothing to lose and everything to gain, placed themselves in the place of humility, “Are you willing?”.

In both cases, the response was, “I am willing”.


My job is to be the physical representation of Jesus on the streets of NYC and NJ.
What would it look like if Jesus was walking around today? How would He respond to what he saw? Would he be too busy to stop?

Do I get it right? Sometimes, yep. Others, nope, not even close. But, I am willing to try.

Are you?

This isn’t just a Brett thing, this is an everybody thing. We all get opportunities every day to “be Jesus”, to love well. Be it someone asking for food, holding a sign in humility, or something completely different. I could be a co-worker who you know is struggling financially. Maybe you should buy them lunch. It could be extending extra patience to the waitress who is doing an awful job, a car who cut you off (I could grow in this area!), or a family member who is continually pushing you to the edge of your patience.

Are you willing?

Give it a try, you never know what type of healing you can bring to the person who is the recipient of your willingness.

Much love all,

Brett.

www.HealthyHusband.com
 

 

Am I prideful? Unteachable?

Am I prideful? Unteachable?

I’m not the type of writer and this website is not the type of website where I have a new story up every day, week, or even month. For me, writing is a newer thing and it started after I started working as an outreach leader for New York City Relief. I found that I was learning so much about myself and others through raw and unedited conversations out on the streets of NYC and NJ that I just needed a way to capture my emotions. At first it started out as a quasi journal or diary of sorts. Then, after I posted one of my stories, I found that others could relate in one way or another with what I was processing. So, I write to process. Sometimes I don’t really start to understand what I have seen until I sit down to write it out. I guess I am able to argue with myself (and with God in some situations) as I write.
The past two week have been hard for me as I have been wrestling back and forth with a confrontation and whether I wanted to write about it (be vulnerable) or not. I love being vulnerable because I love how it can help others, but to be completely honest, I edit my vulnerability at times. Confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed. I 100% believe this to be a true verse as I have seen it played out over and over again, but I am still trying to walk it out in everyday life.

My greatest weakness is that I want you to like me. I want you to think I am a cool guy, a good leader, a great dad, an amazing husband. My desire for those things to come across deep down is what makes it so hard to “confess my sins”.


If I am vulnerable then it will show my downsides - and it does.
But, more than all of that I want - and I know - that the only way for me to be healed is to be open and honest with you. And maybe if I share my negatives it will encourage you to share yours and be healed as well!

Last week I got called out for being prideful and not teachable.

I blew up. Literally. I walked out of the conversation.
I’m not prideful. I pride myself on being teachable.
(I just noticed the ridiculousness in that statement! Ha!)

But seriously. I have never in my life been told these things. I know what I’m bad at, my hot button sins or issues, and pride is not on there.

Lust, envy, being a jerk to my wife sometimes, gluttony, but not pride.

This week has been hard as I’ve wrestled with whether or not this is a true statement about myself and then what to do about it.

Am I the most prideful person in the world? Nope, but that’s not the point.

What I’m learning through this is that it’s not about pride.
It’s about my heart. What is it about being questioned in this way that ignites such anger and hostility in myself that I would lose composure and not be able to communicate well? More importantly, how can I fix it?

Forgiveness. Will you forgive me? I’m so sorry I didn’t notice these things in myself until now and that it took a confrontation to notice it.

Awareness. Moving forward I am looking at myself as a whole. Not just the hot button things, but everything.

“Jesus, please fix all of me, not just the BIG stuff, but everything. If I am wrong, correct me. Let me be ok with being corrected. Please let me react well. Please let me love well in my being corrected. Please help me be a good leader, even when I am following. Amen.”

Move on. Like I said, it’s not about the pride. It’s about my heart.

How’s your heart?

Feel free to share this with anyone who you think it may help.

Much love all!